We start the show right away with Rowdy Roddy Piper!! He comes out in full kilt and unbuttoned white shirt, topped with a lovely black button up…ok His fashion statement screams “Old Loony” and I love it! In the ring, we’ve got two stools and some microphones. Roddy gets a nice welcome from the crowd. Roddy has a question: how does a guy that has never won the WWE Championship, that was never the strongest or biggest become a Hall of Famer and one of the biggest icons in the history of the WWE Universe? Answer: ENERGY! He blames us. He’s not kidding, it’s us and the energy that we give him. WE made him feel good, so he did good things. When we booed him, we made him feel bad…so he did bad things. Fact is though, it’s our energy that makes him go to work. Tonight, we have a man in the building that is not sure if our energy is important so he is here to find out. Ladies and Gents, Mr. John Cena.
Cena and Piper introduce each other and The Pit. Cena questions Piper’s question in regards to the energy of the fans not being important. Piper wants to give an example. He asks the fans first to play word association. He is going to say a name and they respond. Stone Cold Steve Austin: CHEERS!!! Bret “The Hitman” Hart: CHEERS!!! The Rock: CHEERS (some lil boos). John Cena: Divided, of course. Although, the crowd eventually starts a Cena chant which means the crowd is quite pro-Cena. Cena says he sees what Piper is triyng to do. Piper says what he’s trying to do is help Cena. Ah, there’s the boos. Piper says that when all the people were yelling to The Rock to rock bottom Cena, and he did, the crowd came unglued. Cena says, he knows, he was there. The crowd starts a Boots to Asses chant. Cena knows what Piper is doing, but this isn’t the first time something like this has happened. Cena knows that there is a group of people who know who he is and what he stands for and he is loyal to them. He also knows that you can’t please everyone. There are people that want to tell him to go to hell. THAT is what makes the WWE energy that Piper is talking about. The fans can do what they want.
Piper says no, Cena can do what he wants and the fans will allow him to. What Cena is doing is not caring. Piper says Cena is the face of the WWE and the booing is getting louder and louder and louder and Cena is losing it. Cena is losing it. You know what’s going to happen? If Cena don’t suck it up and start telling the people what Cena think, then Cena will be the loser of the biggest Wrestlemania in history. Cena says Piper is going a little overboard. Let’s go back to Mania 22 when everyone loved him. Or how about the Hall of Fame show when the audience loved him then. Or, ECW One Night Stand…they totally LOVED HIM! Piper tries to shut him up, but Cena says that Survivor Series was just excited and New York was just being New York. The Rock had a great night…one…great…night! They show some kids in the crowd doing the You Cant See Me thing and Cena says that’s what he’s doing it for. He sees kids, Armed Services and various others having the time of their lives. Cena wants Piper to read the shirt Cena is wearing. THIS is why the boos will never get to him and this is why he can walk into Mania and if they like him, great, and if they hate him, whatever. The point is, he can beat The Rock at Mania. That’s energy.
Piper knows this. He’s come a long way to have Cena in Piper’s Pit and this is why. He’s watched Cena’s career and he’s proud of him. It was HIS generation that passed the torch to Cena and Cena rose the bar. Piper knows that every day Cena is stepping up to the plate and taking on all comers. Every day he’s saying hi to the armed forces and little kids, but how much energy can he tap into because he’s seen it all and done it all. He hands Cena the hall of fame ring and calls him a future hall of famer. If Cena doesn’t get it right with the people, he will be in denial and it will kill his chances for everything. Cena says he’s in a good place. Piper says no he ain’t and slaps him in the face then says to FEEL THE ENERGY!!! Cena removes the hat, he grabs the hand and gives him the ring back and walks out of the ring. He is, apparently, rising above the hate?
There’s a recap of what The Miz did to R-Truth last week before showing a backstage clip of Alex Riley and John Morrison talking in the back about Melina, and her pliability….ok, no they’re not, but they are talking.
Match 1: Falls Count Anywhere Match John Morrison vs. The Miz
Before the match officially starts, The Miz comes from behind and bashes the knee and right leg of John Morrison. He goes to town on it by banging over and over and it looks like we are not having a match.
The Miz walks slowly to the ring and asks for the mic. Morrison looks like he still wants to fight. He’s walking towards the ring. The Miz looks at Morrison like I look at Big Daddy Dudley; weak. The bell rings and we start the match. Miz goes for the leg but Morrison atacks the head. Miz, from the ground, kicks the knee of the right leg then goes to town on the leg. He pulls it towards the ring post and slams the leg against the post. Again! Miz goes under the ring, and he’s got a stick from Kendo! He cracks it against the leg of Morrison. He goes for a headshot, but Morrison ducks and hits a clothesline. Morrison with the kendo stick and he goes to town on The miz, back, chest, leg, gut, shoulder! He covers on the ramp for the 1…2..NO!!! Miz is crawling up the ramp, trying to get outta dodge as Morrison walks up the ramp, using the kendo stick as a walking stick. How creative. Morrison is at the top of the ramp and Miz trips him, pushing him head first into the corner of the swoosh under the big WWE sign. He sets up for the Skull Crushing Finale, hits it. He doesn’t even need to cover as the ref calls for the end of the match
Winner: The Miz (*)
Not really much to say here as it appears this is Morrison’s exit and it pushes The Miz as a bad ass.
The Miz ain’t done yet! He comes back out with a mic. He’s got what King calls an “ice cold gaze” as he walks down the ramp. Also, not sure how important this is, but Ace came out for a small amount of time to tell Morrison that he wishes him the best…The Miz says that last week, it was R-Truth. This week, it’s John Morrison. Next week, we’ll see. There’s only one superstar that can make this kind of impact, this kind of statement. That person is The Miz and he can do it because he’s……AWESOME! (To be read in a soft voice, please).
Match 2: The Bella Twins vs. Alicia Fox and Kelly Kelly
We are starting with Kelly and….Bella 1. We’ve got a distration. Beth and Natalya come running out in sports bras and yoga pants, running around the ring then back up the ramp…ooook. Back in the ring, Kelly is slappin one of the twins. We get a spinning head scissors and Alicia tags Kelly as Bella 1 lands in the corner. Bella 2 runs in and drags Kelly out. Alicia with a pull of the leg, faceplanting one of the Bellas then a flipping leg Drop and a pin by Alicia for 1…2…3!!!
Winner: Kelly Kelly and Alicia Fox (*)
-yawn-
In the back, Johnny Ace is telling Brodus Clay one more week. Here’s brown nosed David Otunga questioning making Brodus wait and Ace says that the more aggressive Brodus is, the better his re-debut will be. Del Rio walks in as Ace wanted to see him. Del Rio says he is ready for tonight and what happened at Survivor Series was just a setback. Here’s CM Punk. He says 156,000. 156,000 is the number of hits you get when you type in “Laurinitis” and “spineless” in google. 918,000 is the number of hits when you type in “Alberto” and “Boring.” He typed in Otunga’s name and the only thing came up was some stuff about someone named Jennifer Hudson. Punk says that the WWE title isn’t going anywhere then leaves. Otunga calls this a threat. He says that Punk is going to try to get DQ’ed. Ace says that if Punk gets intentionally disqualified, he loses the title.
Wade Barrett comes out as Justin Roberts asks us to “please acknowledge the presence” of him…haha. It appears he will be ringside for the following match.
Match 3: Randy Orton vs. Dolph Ziggler
I miss Dolph’s PERFECTION!!! We get a little squared promo with Dolph saying he’s going to beat Orton here. Lockup to start. Stalemate. Another lockup. Dolph goes for the leg, but Randy gets a side headlock. Ziggler pushes Orton to the ropes and Orton hits a shoulderblock. Whip, Ziggler goes for a hip toss but Orton turns so Ziggler hits a roll up but Orton gets out quickly. Ziggler with a kick then an elbow to the back of the head.orton tosses Ziggler to the corner but Ziggler hops over only to be met with a hard clothesline from Orton. Ziggler quickly rolls out of the ring. Ziggler back in the ring, slowly. We’ve got another lock up and this time Orton hip tosses Ziggler to the mat. Orton stomps each limb but Vickie interrupts halfway. Orton covers for 1..No! Orton wit a suplex then he drops a knee, but Ziggler moves out of the way. Ziggler is up with a kick to Orton’s face and another to the knee. Ziggler with an elbow drop and lands it then pins for 1..2..NO! Ziggler with some rights to Orton then a whip, but Orton goes for a backbreaker, but here’s Ziggler with a roll up for 1…2..NO!!! Ziggler sends Orton to the outside, but Orton is on the apron only to be met with a dropkick from Ziggler. Orton falls to the mat on the outside as Wade Barrett watches on. Ziggler goes outside and starts in on Orton with a right then slams his head to the stairs. Ziggler rolls Orton into the ring then pins for 1…2..NO! Ziggler stomps on Orton into the corner. Ziggler goes for a body splash but Orton moves and Ziggler hits the turnbuckle! Orton with a European uppercut. Again, but Ziggler with a neckbreaker! 1…2…NO! Ziggler with some elbows to the shoulder of Orton as the crowd chants for an RKO. Ziggler goes up top. He’s gonna fly! Wait, Orton is up and hits him with a right, crotching him on the turnbuckle. Orton is there with some headbutts. Orton stares at Barrett before hitting a Superplex from the top rope!! Orton covers 1…2..no!!!!
We are back and Ziggler has the upperhand with some rights. But Orton fights back with some rights! Then Ziggler hits some kicks! Then Orton is back with a kick of his own and some of his clotheslines! Scoop slam! Orton is looking to hit the rope assisted DDT and he does!! Orton is calling for it. He is about to hit it but Ziggler wisely rolls out of the ring. Ziggler tells Vickie, it’s time to go. Wade is dropping the headset. Orton with a dropkick! Ziggler with the Zig Zag from behind!!! Ziggler pins!! 1…2…3!!!!
Winner: Dolph Ziggler (***)
Wasn’t as good as I thought it would be, but still pretty good nonetheless.
Dolph does a headstand for all of our pleasure.
We are back to the show and in the middle of the ring, Michael Cole is introducing “the biggest hypocrite” Daniel Bryan. Cole says Bryan has been given the opportunity to face Henry for the belt. Bryan cuts him off and says he earned the shot. He doesn’t expect Cole to be accurate or be a good announcer. Everyone knows that Cole is the worst announcer in the history of the WWE. But what Bryan does expect is that maybe by now he’s earned some semblance of respect. Especially after last week. Cole says how could he respect a man who tried to cash in his MITB contract against a defenseless World Champ? He’s a liar! He told the world that he was going to wait until Mania to cash in and what did he do?! Bryan says, yes he did say that. Cole calls him a hypocrite. Cole found it hilarious, Bryan attempting to take the title and Cole shows the replay. My thoughts on this entire thing can be seen HERE. But essentially, I didn’t like it and felt that for once, Cole had a point. Let’s see if they can rectify that here.
Back to Raw, Cole says what’s so funny about all of this is that Bryan actually beleived that he was the World Heavyweight Champion, then his dreams were shattered. Luckily, Teddy Long realized that Henry was not medically cleared. If Cole was the GM of Manager, he would have stripped the contract and suspended Bryan indefinitely. Because Daniel Bryan disgusts Michael Cole. He hopes that Mark Henry tears Daniel Bryan apart tomorrow night. Bryan says he is right about one thing, he is a hypocrite. He had plans for this, he had plans to Main Event Wrestlemania, but guess what…plans change. Henry tried to end his career. He realizes that the briefcase doesn’t guarantee him ANYTHING. He saw an opportunity and he took it. He saw one more opportunity and tomorrow night, he’ll be in a Steel Cage! He says that even though his dream is to main event Wrestlemania, what’s more important to him is becoming the World Heavyweight Champion.
Mark Henry is out. Hasn’t he knocked Bryan upside his head enough lately? He oughtta be ashamed of himself for trying to take advantage of a helpless, defenseless man. Who should really be ashamed is Teddy Long for making this match. But thats ok, because Henry is the World’s Strongest Champion and he will defend the World Heavyweight Championship tomorrow on Smackdown. You can talk all you want to down there, Bryan, but whether he’s on two legs, one leg or no legs at all, Bryan can’t beat him. Bryan is walkin up the ramp, kicks Henry in the leg then walks out. haha.
Match 4: Jack Swagger vs. Zack Ryder
We start with Swagger hiting a go-behind into a take down and a couple of smacks to the back of the head. The twitter logo goes crazy again. You gotta admit, it’s a pretty clever idea. Swagger hits Swagger in the corner but Ryder fights out of it. It’s short lived as Swagger hits a belly-to-belly suplex. Swagger with some rights to the back of Ryder until the ref stops him. Swagger with the cover but only gets a 2. Swagger wit a key lock from behind. Swagger attacks with some more hard rights until the ref stops the hold once more and Swagger, once again, with a keylock. Ryder fights out of it, hits the ropes and we get a neckbreaker. Pin for 1…2..NO!! Swagger with a go behind. He locks un a gut wrench, goes for a powerbomb, but Ryder gets out of it! He knocks Swagger down, goes up top and flies but Swagger catches him and hits a backbreaker! Swagger goes for the Swagger bomb, but Ryder grabs his foot. Swagger stomps, goes for the Swagger Bomb again, but Ryder kicks up to the jaw! Ryder is up! Ruff Ryder!!! Pin for the 1…2…3!!!
Winner: Zack Ryder (**1/2)
The match was relatively short, so loses points for that. Swagger continues to bring his wrestling repretoire into the ring and I loves it. Not much else besides that.
Justin Roberts introduces the man that is hosting tomorrow’s Holiday Special (which, coincidentally, is quite early, no?) Mick Foley comes out in Santa garb and wants to share a charming tale. He says, in rhyme, that he has plans come tomorrow night. Sorry, I was distracted, otherwise I’d type out his rendition of Twas the Night Before Christmas. The important part here is that Foley says there will be no Michael Cole! Remember folks, tomorrow night at 8 PM!!
Mathews is with Punk. Punk says that it’s obvious that Johnny Ace is dealing from the bottom of the deck and Johnny Ace can kiss his bottom. And by that he means his ass. And so he doesn’t get intentionally DQ’ed, he says to the camera KISS MY ASS.
Match 5: Alberto Del Rio vs. CM Punk
Lockup! CM Punk works the arm, we get a toss over as he keeps the arm locked. Del Rio with an arm lock of his own. He sends Punk to the floor, working the arm. Punk sends Del Rio to the corner then we get a monkey flip and Punk works the left arm of Del Rio. Del Rio with a side headlock take down. Del Rio hits the ropes then Punk with a shoulder block and a pin for 1. Del Rio is on the arm again. Del Rio sends Punk to the mat then hits the ropes. Punk is up with a leap and a chop to Del Rio. He sends Del Rio to the ropes, Del Rio holds on so Punk clotheslines Del Rio to the outside .Punk dives between the ropes right into the face of Del Rio!
Back, and Del Rio is still working the left arm. He stomps it then covers for 1. Del Rio is quick t grab the arm again, bending it back while Punk is on the floor. Del Rio heelishly grabs the hair but Punk fights out with some eights. He hits the ropes then hopes over for a roll up but Del Rio is too far so Del Rio turns and stomps on Punk. Del Rio goes up top! He flies and hits Punk right in the shoulder! Nice. He pins Punk but only gets a 1. Del Rio slams the arm to the mat then twists it up on the ropes. He’s really workin the arm, here. Del Rio sends Punk to the corner, but Punk kicks out of it. He goes up top and flies for a cross body, but Del Rio moves and Punk falls right on the injured arm. Del Rio with a dropkick and a pin for 1…2..NO! Del Rio attacks from above onto the back of the head of Punk. Del Rio with the arm work again. Punk fights out with some rights. Punk hits the ropes, but Del Rio hits a Tilt-a-Whirl backbreaker!! He pins for 1…2…NO! Del Rio with some knees into the left arm of Punk then a stomp. Del Rio flies off the top with an axe handle and pins for 1…2..NO! Del Rio with a stomp then a pin again! He locks in a key lock but Punk rolls out of it…only for Del RIo to hit a big boot. He pins for 1…2..NO!!! Del Rio up top one more time! This time, Punk with a kick to the side of Del Rio! Punk covers for the 1…2..NO!!! Del Rio with a punch, Punk with a kick, Del Rio with a kick, Punk with a kick, Del Rio with a kick, Punk with a kick, another kick, a—no! Del Rio with some kicks and a punch! Punk hits the ropes. Heel kick. Neckbreaker! 1…2….NO!!! Punk with some high knees. He sends Del Rio to the corner and hits the knee into the bulldog, but just as the bull dog is going, Del Rio with the single armed DDT!! He covers for 1…2..NO!!!!! Del Rio is up. He’s calling for a German but Punk with the go behind. He hits the ropes, Del Rio turns and hits a German Suplex Pin for 1…2..NO WAY JOSE!!!! Whoa! Del Rio is up first again! He signals for the cross arm breaker, Punk turns it into a fireman’s carry, but Del Rio is there with a DDT! Cover for 1…2..NO!!! Lordy, this is great. Del Rio with a hard kick to the back of Punk. Del Rio is working on the turnbuckle, trying to take the cover off. As the ref tries to fix it, Ricardo Rodriguez tosses in a chair! Del Rio grabs it, tosses it to Punk! Punk tosses it back!! The ref sees it!! He is about to call the DQ!! Punk with a quick roll-up for 1…2..NO!!!! Del Rio with a back breaker and a pin!!! 1….2…NO!!!! Del Rio is near the exposed turnbuckle! Punk lifts him up via Fireman’s Carry! Snake Eyes onto the exposed turnbuckle! 1…2….3!!!!
Winner: CM Punk (***1/2)
There were a few small spots that were blown, but the last breath of the match was beautiful. Good job to both men.
Ricardo is trying to argue about what happened here as Punk stands with his belt. Punk grabs Rodriguez and hits the Go To Sleep to end the show.
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